floorboards, pt. 1 (retrospect regret)

Between the grooves in the floorboards

Lies a hallowed treasure

Stories, memories, dreams that could transform a world


My world.


I never used to be caught up in these rushing tides

Dragging me further and further from the shoreline

But it did. Sometimes you can only wet your feet once

Chance the tides, dance upon them and before you know it

you’ve lost ten months.


Then they devastate your dreams.

They decimate your pride.

But they never, ever let you hide.


And yeah, maybe I was a little different

A little too soft, a little too sensitive

Maybe I was easily provoked

and never managed my anger well

But that’s okay. Now.

Because you were wrong.


To put me down and drag my face across the Earth

Force your beliefs through my head, brainwash me till I was deaf

Deaf to all the face surrounding me, blind to everything that was happening

Turned a cheek to all your wrongs, forced to bow down to your God

While you stood there raking the cash, raking the soil

Education isn’t cheap, without a little bit of toil

But what did you teach, or what was it that you preached?

The words of hate and discrimination? From fiction, facts were imitated


Smile on.

That’s all you did

Sing songs praising your Lord.

Hell, I never wanted to be in your institution

But you pretended as if I needed to be included


Like I was a misguided little brat

Sinking ever faster into the sand

But I was never that, never the one to give a damn

But all that changed when you gained the upper hand

I gave up all use of my brain

Cut down to the bare grains

Shackled to an early grave

Believing I was never tamed.


But now, now is too late

To change my perspectives,

To change all of my ways

No longer an individual

I’m on the side, just residual.





This isn’t a promo for some website. This is just a great video about addressing the issue of bullying and I believe it’s worth sharing.


Illuminated by the streetlights, glistening through the window
The dim, neon, green passes my face; casts an ugly shadow
I expected so much from the promised lands.
I only got stones.

This is not the birthday I thought it would be.

I saw the tears where there was gold,
I was the only one to fold
But they; they see the wonders the world may hold
I see the death, the dust,
the seeds that failed to grow.
Collecting them in the grooves in the sole of my shoes
Embedded deep, as I walk the lonesome road

Some days I see the rainbows, some nights
the dancing stars in the sky
I can feel the sunlight, the rays of life
But also the clouds above my eyes
Swirling and rumbling, shrouding my mind
Suffocating my dreams, killing my time

This is not the birthday I thought it would be.

The unsettled air ruffles past me with a low drone
As I lay in the dark, I hear a whistle. But I’m all alone.
I awake, eyes open. It’s the afternoon.
The humidity blankets me, then chokes…
I feel the heat radiate off the bricks and through my window.
Oh, how the summer brings me down so quickly

Bringing about these sobering thoughts into my frail head
That flood in sporadically, erratically, with no warning at all
It’s a depressant and a motivator, but I easily forget
The deeper meaning from that motivating thought

This is not the birthday I thought it would be.

I don’t know why I have this strange affliction
To write about the unkind and the barely written
To revel in the beauty of a washed out thought
And to stay in the valleys, under shadows I walk
Or to feel the joy when I feel such pain
And to walk through a path that’s littered with rain
While soaked to the bone in my useless coat
I feel eyes stare back in this wilderness I roam.

As I smile in fear as the dawn approaches,
The light that brings tears slowly encroaches.

This is not the birthday I thought I’d wake up to see

Office, 5 p.m.

Whisper, lend me your ears

Don’t speak, let the silence utter its peace

Let the dim of the neon, warm your senses

and the cool glow, ruffle your feathers

Buzz. Your ears prick up at the murmur

the low droning hiss of the lights grows and furthers;

increasing, swirling with pastels and dreamy lights

The clock clicks and reality floods your mind.


Six fifty-three.

Staring back is the devil in Prada.

Those eyes, piercing through the glass.

“Why do I still have that photo?” You wonder,

as stars shimmer a reflection off your desk

your eyes twinkle as they flicker through gaps in the mess


It’s been a while since you both cried wolf

Been a while since you howled at the moon

Sat alone, thoughts to yourself

Pots boiling over as she cleans out the shelves

Books flying here and there

As the high pitched hiss of the pan shows its flares


One more night you say, over and over again

No more pride to hide, no more pressure to pretend

Resting your knees on the carpet in a silent protest

You repeat a prayer, a prayer in ever earnest

May the nights pass quickly, may the days fall sickly

I hold with bated breath the yellow pads sent immediately


There are only white trails and its residues

The one love you had, is the one you’ll rue



burnt to the ground.

A shivering pile of dirt you say

A quivering cake of emotions you lay.

The hit of reality caught you out

Your puzzled boss glares, gaping mouth

“You’re a mess, go home, get some rest.

Everyone suffers, but it’s all just a test.”




Lights out.


– KS

The End?

What if this was your last day?

What would you do? What would you say?
Would you run up the highest mountain?
Would you swim in the city fountains?
Or would you lay with me?

Would you dance in the city square?
Waltz to a marching fare?
Jump from chair to chair?
Or would you curl up in despair?

I am your light, I am your bane
You fight it, but no one gains
The upper hand is gone
The last floor is what we’re on


– KS


And so another year begins…

There’s nothing to celebrate, there’s nothing to parade.
Pack up all your banners, pack up all your charades
Nineteen years down and I’m still living the same way
And they keep asking me, “When are you going to change?”

Forget it, I’m paranoid of the smallest things
Keep worrying over the most useless shit
Forget it, it’s already too late
Forget it, I’m damned to stay insane

Another year, another day older, what’s different?
A step closer to death and a different face to inspect.
Change eyes, look out of mine, see the world crumbling to shame
See the bridges I built and the footprints I left, all rot away
And if you think that’s cynical, then try not to be hypocritical
As you try to prove your point and pretend to be political

Shit, you got lucky but wait it ain’t so funny
Life isn’t just about crossing your t’s


– KS